September 16, 2015
(NOTE: click on the hyperlinks for added fun)
To Whom it May Concern et al et Al—
Please review the following complaint
Regarding a company called, Door Pal
Problems with quality of wood and paint.
I ordered a new dutch door in dark red.
For those not in the know, a dutch door is
A door cut in half like on Mr. Ed.
(Horse not included. Not part of their biz.)
I put a 10% deposit down.
Six weeks later they came to install it.
Top door was smaller than the bottom. Frown.
What the? All I could think to say was, sh...oot.
I worried I had made a big mistake.
And that the sales guy had been a big snake.
To their credit they cut a new top piece.
But painted it on site which made it gunky.
This is wrong, I thought. Was I getting fleeced?
It’s my front door! Truth is it was funky.
Owner stopped by to evaluate.
Said, “I’d give it a seven out of ten.”
But I paid for at least a nine point eight.
He asked, What do you want me to do then?
I want you to give me my money back.
“Sorry, I can’t,” he stood and shook his head.
Lucky for me I paid by VISA, Jack.
Time to leave through the crappy door, I said.
I got all my money returned to me.
Interviewing company twenty-three...
This post first appeared on the North American Review blog.
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